I never thought recognizing the changes in myself would be harder than actually losing the weight.
It almost feels like the mental picture I have when looking in the mirror is on a shutter delay. I’m realizing now that I have to wait out that timer and let my brain catch up with reality (soooo frustrating).
I still at times see myself as that 222 lb girl with a puffy face and bloated stomach, but I’m not her.
I still at times feel like when I put that XL shirt on it’s going to be tight, but it’s not (it’s ridiculously big).
I still at times think I’m going to be too big to fit through that tight space, but I can easily get through with room to spare.
This has me feeling CRAZY.
When I get in a head-space like this I just remind myself of all the obvious changes, because you don’t lose 56 lbs without being able to see major differences. I remind myself that I can now fit into a medium shirt, my pants are a comfortable size 12, my old sandals no longer stay on my feet b/c they are tooo big, the band size of my bra has dropped, my rings now fit on my fingers without getting stuck, I can run around without getting winded in 5 seconds, my glasses are loose b/c my face IS smaller.
When this doesn’t help I turn to pictures, because sometimes a camera can show you what you CAN’T see for yourself.
Don’t underestimate the importance of progress pictures! I really regret not taking better starting pictures and I knew they would be important, I just couldn’t face what I looked like at the time b/c I was beyond unhappy (you can’t really reason with depression).
Just know if you feel this way you are not alone. Weight loss is not an instant cure all for everyone’s self esteem and there may still be some mental work to do even when you reach your goal.
I still have a little ways to go myself but when I feel overwhelmed or defeated I like to remind myself of how far I’ve come. I know this is cheesy but when you start feeling mental remind yourself this is a marathon not a sprint!
Until my next post just remember,
Hydrate. Satiate. Celebrate.